On Being Authentic

Although this is my favorite time of year and I've been enjoying my garden and the inspiration it brings my art, I've been in a bit of a slump. Not an art slump. Not a joy slump. But still, a slump.

Part of it is that I had a cold this week and that we've had days and days of rain. But this slump started before the rain and my cold and it's all wrapped up in the online presence of my art and me. This blog is part of that.

Back in March I pondered what I wanted this blog to be. I stopped posting Artist Interviews and Sketchbook Conversations at the beginning of the year and went from posting three times a week to one time a week. I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go from there and in that March post I asked for your thoughts. There wasn't a clear answer, but I made a plan and moved forward with it. One thing I was clear on was that I didn't want to "follow anyone else's shoulds". I didn't want to write a blog just because I should. I didn't want to post certain things in a certain way just because that's what I'm supposed to do.

The internet is all about shoulds. Social media is all about shoulds.

In truth? I'm sick of it.

When we follow someone else's prescription, when we act the way we should, we can end up being inauthentic. It's an easy trap to fall into.

There's a tension between wanting to express myself authentically and wanting to fit in. Often behind it, there's the pressure of numbers. Numbers of views. Numbers of likes. Numbers of comments. Numbers of followers. As if by these numbers I can somehow measure my value.

I can't.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've been noticing, more and more, people opening up authentically online. Sharing, not just a pretty picture, but how they really feel.

Here are a few exapmples I find truly inspiring:

• Ashlie Blake shared her thoughts in this Instagram post back in early May. What she says about not living a "lie-style" really resonated with me.
• In this blog post Maya writes about "not making it", about that little voice in the back of our minds that wants us to be "successful" and about how she's happy with where her life is at the moment even though she isn't "Instagram famous" (she also shares a delicious salad recipe). The joy that flows through her post makes me so happy. This is true connection in a way that just posting the recipe would not have been.
• Lizzie House shared her thoughts on Instagram the other day about how she is working on being her truest self this year. What a beautiful thought. I wish this for all of us.
• Mary Wangerin opened up on Instagram wondering why we so often extend grace to others, but not to ourselves. Let's stop focusing on our flaws, ok?
• Misty Segura Bowers and Heather Bullard each shared posts recently encouraging women to embrace who they really are instead of bowing to the cultural glorification of the perfection of youth. As someone in the "over 40" age bracket, I can certainly relate.
• Stephanie Beaudoin opened up about mental health in this Instagram post. There is sometimes so much stigma wrapped around depression and anxiety and yet so many of us suffer from them. Maybe if more of us are honest about it we can break down that stigma.
• Rochelle New recently blogged about reclaiming and reloving her blog. I think sharing what we really love, what truly fires us up is the most inspiring and the most likely to create connections. Like with Maya's post, Rochelle's joy brings me joy.

Sharing a pretty picture, even if it gets thousands of "likes" can be empty. Sharing how we feel, inviting conversation, opening our hearts... that creates connection.

Making meaningful connections is one of my main goals for my business this year. And I think it's also so important in our current political climate to forge connections, to share compassion and empathy and to find common ground so we can work together to create change. None of that can happen when we hide behind pretty facades, or when we hold back or disappear altogether, for fear of not fitting in.

And so, I'm committing, again, to sharing here authentically, to letting go of worries about numbers and oppressive shoulds.

Are you with me?

I'd love to know your thoughts. Is this something you struggle with? What sorts of posts on Instagram and on blogs resonate most with you?